


I Have You

by sentimental_boy



Series: Matt Murdock imagines [37]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Blind Reader, F/M, Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, agnst, mostly agnst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 19:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6091594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimental_boy/pseuds/sentimental_boy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fisk's affiliates interrogate you for answeres about the Masked Man and end up blinding you. They send you to Madame Gao to put you to work now that you're blind. One day you hear a set of unfamillilar foot steps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have You

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt from @Writer_S: The reader (Gender neutral please) is kidnapped, and tortured (You may have descriptive scenes) by Fisks men. They want answers about the man in the mask. The 'goons' end up blinding you, and seeing you're Chinese background, send you to madam Gao. They teach you their 'business', and get you accustomed to be being blind.
> 
> You've been there awhile now, and one day, you hear a pair of foot steps, you've never heard before.
> 
> RE: So this turned out shorter than I thought. The only way I could make sense of this was for the reader to know Matt beforehand. (Because why else would Fisk’s affiliates single you out unless you had ties to him before?) Maybe the reader didn’t recognize Matt’s footsteps because they never paid attention to that sort of thing when they could see. Also, I tend to write race neutral because the reader could be anyone, so I just had the Russians send you to Gao because of your blindness. I made it more of a captive situation with Gao’s organization teaching you about their business. I wanted to write Matt in sooner (Because that’s who we’re all here for, right?) So the part where you're working for Gao is pretty short. This takes place around episode 12 in my head, not counting the flashback. Anyway, I hope this is what you were looking for.

You stand, stamping folded squares of paper, containing some sort of powder, as they’re passed to you. You’ve given up on figuring out what it is, some sort of drugs you assume. None of the other workers will speak to you, but you get the idea that they’re here by choice. Your employer- if that’s what you’d call her- only spit out some fortune cookie bullshit when you had the chance to ask. Something about having faith in things beyond the distractions of this world. Like that was an actual answer. The only relevant information she gave you was that these people blinded themselves. Hence your assumption that they aren’t captives like you. Then again, you don’t know of any ‘higher purpose’ that you would have blinded yourself for. Oh wait, his name is Matthew Murdock. Or, to be more precise, the Man in the Mask. That’s why you’re here, sightless, packaging drugs.

-0-

It goes on like this for months, stamping the drugs as they’re passed to you, trying to devise a plan. Kind of difficult with a new disability- which it is. You'll have none of this politically correct nonsense now that you're the one with the 'different ability'. Having said that, you are learning to adjust to your recent blindness- not that it sucks any less. You’ve come to appreciate that your other senses are a lot more useful than you ever knew. And who knew using a walking stick actually has a learning curve? Braille turns out to be a pain in the ass with a few books and no instructor. Still, it helps distract you from the impending threat of self pity.

Another day of work comes and goes, listening to people milling about, the slide of powder on metal as it's measured. The crinkle of papers folding around said powder. The squish of ink and resolute stomp of the insignia, finishing off the packaging. You’re packing up the last of the product for the day when you hear an unfamiliar set of boots walking through the warehouse. You know the sound of all the supervisors by now, and this isn't one of them. You listen closer, realizing those boots are familiar in some distant part of your mind. It’s too vague for you to place though, so you wait. He (or she) shuffles around, almost soundless before stopping behind you.

Before you know it, Madam Gao is shouting something in mandarin and the workers stop what they’re doing and surround him. You hear him pleading with them to let him help them, and it hits you. Matt, the Man in the Mask; he’s here. Everything goes to shit from there. Matt slips away, there’s an explosion, followed by gunfire and the sprinklers going off. Then Matt is telling one of the supervisors to get everyone out, and there’s more yelling in mandarin. The only reason you don’t get trampled in the evacuation is because someone grabs your arm and pulls you outside and around the corner.

Then you hear it. That deep voice calling your name, full of concern- full of hope.

“Matt? Is that you?”

“Yes, it’s me." You hear the scrape of fabric on skin as he pulls his mask off so you can see him. Well. He's in for a surprise. "Thank God I found you.” He strides forward and wraps you in his arms. Because he found you, quite possibly the love of his life and he thought he'd never see you again. This whole time you've been missing he's been trying to figure out why he's been such a damn coward and never told you about his feelings for you. But He can't now because you've been through too much to drop that on you now. Instead, he just takes your hand and pulls his mask back in place. “I’m getting you out of here, come on.”

-0-

Matt takes you to his apartment and sits next to you on the sofa. “Okay, first off, are you okay?”

You bite your lip and shake your head. “Not really, no.”

He takes a deep breath and pulls you into a hug. “What did they do to you?”

“I don’t remember specifics. It was the Russians who took me, right around when you started causing trouble for them. They beat me enough that I passed out a couple times. Once from a badly aimed blow to the head, and once from pain. The second time I woke up, they stabbed me in one of my eyes, you know, threaten lasting damage. I still wouldn’t tell them anything, so they did the same to the other one.”

He starts breathing harder, trying to control his emotions no doubt. “Y-you should’ve said something y/n. You should’ve told them what you knew about me.”

You sit back, going to look at him out of habit. By the time your stupid ass realizes your mistake, you've broken contact with him and can't bring yourself to reconnect just yet. “Matt, I believe in you, that you’re trying to do good here. Besides, You’re one of my closest friends, I wasn’t about to sell you out to those dickheads.”

“But at this cost? I can’t believe they blinded you. It doesn't even make any sense."

“Matt, nothing they do makes any sense. Fisk says what he's doing is for the good of the city. Tell me how abducting, selling and killing it's citizens is good for the city."

"I know, but they can't do this to you." You think you hear a broken sob. "Not you."

"It’s done. Okay? It's done, and I can’t sink into the abyss of self pity. I would hate myself for it. Not to mention, after everything you’ve been through, and you’ve never uttered one complaint. I don’t see how I could do any less.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not the leading authority in dealing with things in a healthy way.”

“You’re right. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

He shifts on the sofa next to you and changes the subject. “So how did you get from the Russians to Gao?”

“They sent me to her after they blinded me. Figured as long as they had me captive, I might as well do some work for them. After all, what’s a recently blinded person gonna do to fight back?”

He can hear the tremor in your voice and pulls you into his arms again. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. This wasn’t supposed to happen, innocent people weren’t supposed to get hurt. You weren’t supposed to get hurt. I’m- I’m sorry.”

“You’re wrong.” You murmur. Because Matt doesn’t respond to comfort and coddling. No, Matt Murdock responds to facts and judgement. It’s evident in the little questioning sound of surprise that makes it’s way out of his throat. “This isn’t your fault.” You continue. “I understand wanting someone to blame, believe me, I do. But it’s not you. Blame Fisk, or the Russians, or Gao, because they’re the ones who took me, hurt me, and held me captive. They’re the ones raining hell down upon this city. You’re hurting them- bad. You have the ability to help and that’s what you’re doing. What happened to me is their fault and no one else's.”

He nods. “What did Gao have you do?”

You pull back enough to fit yourself to his side and rest your head on his chest. “Matthew Murdock, if this is some way for you to file away information for your Catholic guilt complex, I will have no part in it.”

He shakes his head. “It’s not. I’m just worried. As long as you’re okay to talk about it, I want to know what you went through.”

“Why?”

“I want to support you, be here for you, and I can do that better if I have the whole story.”

You sigh. “I didn’t run any of the product, that was too much freedom for me. I had a station stamping something on the papers once the others had it packaged. I think the supervisors had strict orders to keep a closer eye on me to make sure I didn’t escape.”

“Did they help you at all? Were you allowed to go to some sort of trauma recovery?”

“No. They gave me some braille books, but that was it. I think I got a few letters down, but it’s hard not knowing what I’m supposed to feel for.”

“I can teach you, if you want.”

“Thanks Matt, I’d like that.”

“Yeah, if you need help with anything, let me know.”

You nod. “Thank you.” A moment of silence falls between the two of you before you start laughing.

“What is it?” Matt asks, and you can hear the grin in his voice.

“I was just thinking, I might need some pointers on using the cane. If you helped me with that it would be the blind leading the blind.”

He lets out a chuckle. “That it would be.” He rubs his hand along your arm. “See? You already have a sense of humor about it. That’s important.”

You shrug. “I learned from the best.”

He hums out his fond smile and rests his head on yours. He takes your hand as his mind starts to wander back to the situation at hand, effectively sobering him up. “I don't think you should go back to your place for a while. At least until we know for sure that Fisk and his affiliates have lost interest.” He murmurs.

You're quiet for a moment, thinking about it. “How do you know they won’t just find me again?”

“I don’t. That’s why I want you to stay with me. I can take you back to your place to get some stuff, but I’d like you to stay here.”

“Thank you. I know this is a lot.”

He shrugs. “Not really. I just want to keep you safe. I failed spectacularly at that the first time around, I won’t again.”

You run your hand through his hair. “It’s over and you helped get me out. Stop blaming yourself. Neither of us can take it.”

He nods. “Let’s get to bed then. It’s been a long day.”

“Okay.”

“Uh, you can take the bed, I’ll be right out here if you need me.”

You would cast a dubious glance to the bedroom if you could. All you want right now is to know you’re not alone, and the best way for that is contact. Human and constant. “Matt, could you come in there with me?”

“Right, I’m sorry.” He stands and takes your elbow to lead you. “The bed’s right here. Do you need anything else?”

Well, apparently he didn’t take your not-too-subtle hint. “Will you stay with me?” When he doesn’t answer right away you grab his hand. “Please. I need someone- I need you close right now.”

He strokes his thumb over your hand. “Yeah, of course.” He climbs in bed and pulls you close. "I love you."

You freeze before you put your hand on his chest and scoot back. "What?"

His stomach sinks. He hadn't meant to say that. There he goes again, stupid, selfish, Murdock, dropping a bomb like that after everything he already put you through. But now it's out there and he can't take it back. Doesn't want to. Selfish he scolds himself. "I'm sorry. I know you're going through a lot right now. I didn't mean to add to the stress, I've just felt this way for so long and-"

You grab his shirt collar and pull him in for a kiss. Oh God. Stupid decision. Relationships built on traumatic situations aren't known to last. You can't bring yourself to care though, because you've wanted this for a while too and for Christ's sake, "I love you too." You breathe when you part. Matt goes to say something, but you kiss him again. "Don't over think it. I need something good in my life right now. I love you."

He lets out a breath and lays down so you can fit yourself to his side. "I love you so much."

-0-

You’re walking along, minding your own goddamned business, when two pricks with Russian accents pull you into their van. The bag over your head and ties around your arms and legs are in place before you even know what’s happening. You drive for what feels like less than half an hour before the Russians are hauling you out of the truck and securing you onto a chair.

The next thing you see is a Russian with a metal baseball bat against the backdrop of a huge garage filled with taxi cabs. Veles taxis. Something to file under: clues on who abducted me; so my best friends can help me press charges later. A little long, but it’s a working title.

“Here’s how this is going to work.” One of the Russians starts.

Right, russians about to do horrible things to you; pay attention.

“You’re going to answer all our questions about Man in Black Mask, and we don’t hurt you. Deal?”

As much as your stubborn streak wants to wisecrack, your logical side wins with a sheepish nod. Gather your thoughts. You sure as hell aren’t going to sell Matt out, but you need something convincing to tell them. They wouldn’t have taken you if they didn’t know of your ties to the Mask, so they’re expecting something more than ‘I don’t know.’

“Who is he?”

You hold your breath, trying to think of something, but it takes too long and the one with the baseball bat lands a blow to your right cheek bone. “M-Mike! His name is Mike!”

The Russian shakes his head with a laugh. “You would sell out your friend so easy, I wonder what we could get out of you with some real pain.”

“Please. We aren’t that close. I met him a couple times in a bar, we never went back to his place.”

“See, I think you are that close. Why would he trust a simple fuck buddy with his identity?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he gave me a fake name, maybe he was just trying to impress me and isn’t even the Man in the Mask.”

Your eyes dart between them as they start conversing in Russian. The one with the bat nods his head and another comes behind you, holding your head still. “Maybe some permanent damage will get the truth out of you, hmmm?” He drops his bat and pulls a knife out, advancing on you as you squirm in the seat.

The last thing you see is his face, and the tip of his knife before you wake, gasping. You keep blinking, fumbling for a light, anything to bring you back to reality because you’re still blind. You need to come back, prove that it was all a bad dream.

Matt pops up beside you, grabbing your arm, and letting go just as quick when he realizes he’s only making things worse. He stutters out your name, trying to calm you, and by extension himself. It doesn’t work. “Y/n, it’s me. I’m here.” He reaches for your hands, and when you don’t pull away, he brings them up to his face. “Here, feel my face. It’s me; Matt.” He almost chokes on the words, remembering his dad comforting him in the same way. Almost. He needs to stay strong for you, so that’s what he does.

As you feel the contours of Matt’s face, the memory of him lights up in your head, calming you, grounding you.

“That’s it.” He tells you as he hears your heart start to even out. “You’re safe. I have you.” He runs his hands along your legs.

“I can’t see.” You shake your head, hating yourself for complaining to this man who’s been gracefully bearing this burden for over 20 years now.

“I know.” He whispers as he kisses your head and runs a hand over your hair. “I know.”

“Does it get better?”

And Matt’s stomach sinks. Not because the answer is no- quite the opposite in fact. Because your voice sounds too high pitched, too rough, too broken. And it’s his fault. All this. If he just would’ve- could’ve- listened to his dad for a few more years, everything would be alright. You would still be able to see. But you told him to stop blaming himself, so he files it away to use against himself later. To use against Fisk later. Because that’s who the real enemy is. But he doesn’t say any of this. No, he doesn’t say any of this because that would be selfish, and he’s already shown enough of that to last him into the next life. “Yeah, it gets better.” Is all he says as he holds you in the dark.


End file.
